Your Volunteer Manager Horoscope for 2017



I was so excited (after paying an online $78 service fee) to book a one hour session with the famous astrologer, Crystal Ball-Starrzowie in her uptown “basement of timeless possibilities.” I could not wait to learn all that is in store for volunteer managers for 2017 and so I took a bus into town, finally stumbling over two garbage cans and upon “Starrzowie’s Astrological Emporium” tucked in between a laundromat and convenience store. Crystal Ball-Starrzowie met me at the door and immediately shushed me, putting her purple cat fingernail over my lips, then she led me down past the ping-pong table to her “mystic room.” The patchouli incense burned my eyes, but I knew I had to do this for you, so I sucked it up, literally, and in between mopping the tears from my painful eyes, I wrote down her breathy predictions for volunteer managers for the coming year.

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